How Many Ways are There to Pick Up a Girl?
by zanthia122
Summary: WIKTT "Worst Pick-Up Line Challenge" One-shot Valentine's fic. It was Valentine's Day, a group of dateless wizards used the last end of their wits to charm a pretty girl with their Very Creative pick-up lines. Guess who won the grand prize? SSHG
1. The Challenge

Challenge: The Worst Pick-Up Lines _Ever_...  
but hey, it doesn't hurt to try.

-Hermione has to be of age. Whether the story happens post-Hogwarts or not is up to you.

-At least six wizards, including Severus, are all dateless on that day. They gather together in some sort of pub or restaurant and whine about finding no date. These wizards cannot be O/C, but who this group consists of is up to you.

-Hermione is in the same pub or restaurant, alone or with _one _female friend. She has put on a charm on herself _willingly, _so that she is very pretty and unidentifiable. Whether the reason behind this, be it her own or her friend's idea, is included is up to you.

-The wizards notice the beauty of her, and go to her one by one and attempt to start a conversation with pick-up lines. The reason for they to do this can be (but is not restricted to) a bet/ a dare/ a challenge of who gets the pretty girl. The reason must be included.

-Hermione may or may not enjoy the attention. However, whatever she (and her friend) does, she does not snap and say 'sod off.' Our Hermione is more witty and elegant than that. What she says to the wizards will be a good time for you to show her wits and sense of humor.

-Between the pick-up lines there may be subtle hints and poking fun of sex, but please, don't resort to blatant statements of obscenity. Our Severus (and most wizards that we like enough to put into our stories) will not go up to a girl and say "hey baby, wanna have lots of wild sex" The pick-up lines are supposed to show, again, their wits, humor, and most of all, silliness.

-Yes, pick-up lines are silly. The story must include at least six bad, _really _bad pick-up lines.

-Severus is the only one in the group that is allowed to know that the girl is really Hermione in disguise beforehand. Whether he knows this or not is again your choice. He is also the only one allowed to discover her disguise in the middle of the story.

-Severus may or may not be already dating Hermione. A reason must be included why aren't they spending Valentine's together if he is. If he is not, he must at least be harboring some feelings for the undisguised her.

-Severus must be the one who ends up going out with Hermione.

-In the end, Hermione must lift the charm and reveal herself to Severus (if not to everybody). Whatever Severus' initial response is, the ending must not be him leaving her, feeling betrayed. He may be shocked, but remember, he _has _feelings for Hermione. They story must end with them, if not becoming an item and kissing madly, at least being happy.

-If for any reason the group of wizards has to include Voldemort, Lucius and Draco Malfoy, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew or the like, the reason must be given.

Optional:

-The group of wizard, by some way or another, listens to each other's pick-up line and laugh.

-Severus being reluctant to join the game

-Severus saying the worst pick-up line ever and getting Hermione

-Heart-shaped chocolates, white and pink roses, jazz, and perfume

-A romantic lighting rather than candles

-Severus getting jealous


	2. The Story

Disclaimer: Nothing in the HP universe belongs to me. The pick-up lines are not original, either. They are all taken freely from the internet and modified. 

A/N: This is my respond to my own challenge"the Worst Pick-Up Line Ever." Hope you guys enjoy. Caution: I know they drink a bit excessively in this fic, but trust me, I am no alcoholic. In fact, because of my religion, I have not consumed any alcohol ever in my life. Drinking is _not _good for you!

-

The tavern carried a very different feeling from the Three Broomsticks. Dimly lit by floating crystal globes, the Enchanting Spirits was more romantic than homey. In the middle of the room was a circular bar, sparkling gently in the dark, coaxing people to come nearer and buy another drink. The dance floor was filled with slow-dancing couples, and the band on the stage was playing a slow jazz in the background. By a dark corner close to the entrance sat seven wizards. They were Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, his twin brothers Fred and George, Neville Longbottom, Remus Lupin and Draco Malfoy.

It was Valentine's Day. Trust Dumbledore to call a meeting on this day. The man had even suggested a Valentine's dinner, but the idea was unanimously vetoed by the other Order members, protesting that they had already seen way too much of their fellow comrades, and surely Dumbledore could not expect them to spend the Blessed Day of Love in such company. Those who had a date were on the edges of their seats during the entire meeting, and were out of the room the second the old man reluctantly dismissed them. Those who hadn't a date... They had gathered in a romantic little pub in Diagon Alley, trying to numb the pain of being dateless with alcohol. So far, the plan wasn't working.

"Mom and Dad are having fun," said Fred, putting down his mug and glancing over to the dance floor. "This is so unfair."

"Whose bright idea was it to come here?" Following Fred's line of gaze, Harry looked at the dancing pairs sulkily.

"While you may prefer to mope in your room for the night, Potter," Draco took a sip of his Butterbeer before continuing. "We do not."

Harry sulked more at this. As reformed as he was, Draco kept his acid Malfoy tongue. Ron patted his shoulder consolingly.

"This is not too bad." George, forever the optimist, chirped and pointed to the bar. "Check that girl out."

"Who?" Six heads turned toward the direction he pointed.

"The one with black, shoulder-length hair. The one in burgundy robes, do you see her"

They did. Sitting by the bar was a girl sitting cross-legged in an ankle-length robe. Her face was half covered by her straight black hair, and they could only see that she was quite pale, but nevertheless, very beautiful.

"Wow," breathed Ron. "She's pretty."

"Refrain from stating the obvious, would you?" said Draco, though he, too, was staring at the girl.

"She's alone," observed Harry.

"Given her looks, she won't stay that way for too long," Remus, who had been more interested in his drink, spoke up for the first time.

"I wonder is she waiting for somebody," Neville said to himself.

"Well, why don't you go ask her?" Draco suggested with a sarcastic smirk.

"Why don't _you _go, Malfoy?" George challenged.

"Yeah," said Fred"go ask her, I dare you."

He fixed them with an amused glare. "I can pick up any woman of my choice, any time."

"Let's see you prove it, then."

"I say we place a bet," Draco drawled. "Next round of Butterbeer's on you if I win."

"Wait, how do we know if he won't just go up and say, 'Miss, I will give you a hundred Galleons if you'll just be picked up by me?'" Ron said.

The group, including Draco, laughed. As the laughter subsided, Fred reached into his robes and pulled out a couple of flesh-colored strings.

"That's where these come in," he grinned.

-

Draco stood up and started to stride across the room confidently. He had done this many times in the past, and there was no reason that this girl should not succumb to his charm. He smoothed his robe and touched his tied-back long hair self-consciously. There was no reason to be nervous, was there?

As he drew closer, he was able to get a clearer view of the girl. She was prettier than he had thought. Her hair gleamed softly in the light, and he ached to feel the silkiness of it. Her face was round, with a small nose and pink, full lips. But the most captivating were her eyes, the two large, brown orbs with tiny gold flecks in them. They blinked as he stopped in front of her.

"Miss," that came out too husky. He tried again. "Miss."

She looked up at him, her eyes slightly widened in surprise.

"The only thing your eyes haven't told me," he said, his lips going dry. "Is your name."

She was still regarding him with those big eyes, and he was starting to become unnerved by their insistent glare. Suddenly, a string of chortle, clear as ringing bells, escaped her lips.

"My name's Jane," she said with a smile, and held out a hand which Draco took. "You really need a better pick-up line, Mr.-"

"Malfoy," he offered, a bit put out by her comment. His shoulders slumped further as he remembered the Extendable Ears on himself. He risked a glance at his friends - sure enough, they were shaking with silent laughter - before asking, "Do you mind if I sit here?"

"Well - yes, actually," she hesitated, "I am waiting for someone."

-

As Draco's tall figure came closer, it became harder and harder for the group to hide their laughter. Finally, as he pushed a waitress away and stopped in front of the table, glaring at them warningly, it became too much. They broke into merciless guffaws, earning themselves a few alarmed glances from customers nearby.

"Shut up," Draco sat down grumpily and plucked the Disillusioned Extendable Ear from his collar.

"You _really_ need a better pick-up line, Mr. Malfoy," mimicked George in a high pitch. "Or a major makeover."

"At least I got her name," replied Draco. "Let's see how well _you _can do."

"But before that-" Fred let the sentence hang pointedly. Draco scowled and beckoned a waitress for more Butterbeer. As a jar of the ice-cold beverage floated over and began pouring itself into their empty mugs, Draco cocked an eyebrow at the twins.

"Any Weasley can do better than you," said Fred, fixing the Extendable Ear on Ron. "Ronnykins, show him how to pick up a girl properly."

"Me?" Before he could say anything more, the twins pushed him out onto the floor.

-

Ron was never very good with girls, as his best friends could testify. Hermione had lost her patience with him in their seventh year and started to go out with other boys. He had not minded a lot then - in fact, it had been quite a relief - but now he berated himself for not practicing more when he had the chance. How was he to know the 'proper way to pick up a girl?' He had never done anything close to this before.

_Well, it can't be too different from talking to Hermione, _he mused as he walked across the room as Draco before him did. His feet felt like they were trudging through a swamp, not a wooden floor. However, as small as his steps were, they eventually brought him to a stop next to the girl.

"Ahem," he announced his presence intelligently. Suddenly conscious of his slightly-worn robes, he tried in vain to straighten it with his clammy hands. The girl looked up from her glass, and Ron felt his breathing hitched. This was _nothing _like talking to Hermione.

"I couldn't help but to notice how much you, er, resemble a Dungbomb," he tried.

"Excuse me?" The girl sounded more incredulous than angry.

"Uh," that didn't sound quite right. "Not the dung part. The _bomb _part."

"Oh," she fluttered her long eyelashes slowly as the realization hit her. "O- oh! I got it. Thanks, I guess." With that she flashed a small smile at him and turned back to her glass.

-

Ron staggered back to the table in a semi-stupor. Once he slumped into his seat, he downed his entire mug of Butterbeer.

"I need some stronger stuff," he muttered as he put down the empty mug.

"You're a disgrace, Ron," reproached Fred as he pulled the Extendable Ear off his brother. Draco and the others were laughing too hard to tease.

"Did you see how she smiled at me?" Ron said, the glaze back in his eyes. "She likes me."

"After you tell her that she looks like a Dungbomb?" Draco managed through his fits. "Very likely, Weasley."

"She is a goddess..."

"Goddess?" Harry echoed skeptically.

"She looks much prettier up close all right," assented Draco, taking another swig from his jug.

"...an angel..."

"Snap out of it, mate," Neville shook his head and pushed Ron playfully on the shoulder.

"An angel," a mischievous glint shone in George's pupils. "That gives me an idea!" Grabbing a string of his own eavesdropping device, he practically skipped towards the bar.

-

"Hi, miss!"

The girl looked up from her half-full glass the third time of the night. For a girl who had been interrupted so frequently from her Meditation of the Drink, she did not seem very irritated. On the contrary, she offered a peaceful smile to George, as she did to the previous two intruders. George, who was often more into pranks than girls, found himself agreeing with Draco and Ron - she _was _stunningly gorgeous. He widened his grin.

"What time do you have to be back in heaven?"

"Heaven?" She tilted her head in puzzlement, showing her pearly white neck and collarbone.

"Why," he exclaimed with exaggerated surprise. "Surely you must be an angel?"

She chuckled and turned in her seat to face him, her nose wrinkling in amusement. He placed his elbow on the bar, lowering himself to her eyelevel.

"That's very flattering."

"Not at all, miss," he said, still in that excited voice of his. "Are you from Greece, then?"

"Greece? No, why?"

"Apparently, all goddesses are Greek."

That elicited another string of melodic laughter from her, as she shook her head and her hair jumped lightly. George thought he could catch the smell of peach and chamomile.

"No, I'm from here," she said, a smile still on her full, watery lips. George forced himself to look away.

"It's been nice talking to you, Miss Angel," he tipped an imaginary hat. "Good day." With that he skipped back triumphantly to the corner where his friends sat.

-

"What are you doing here, idiot?"

This was not what George expected. All of his friends except Remus, who was drinking his Butterbeer calmly, were staring at him in frustration.

"Last time I check, I stayed longer than you did, Ronny Doodledum."

"That's the whole point!" Harry threw his hands up exasperatedly. "Why are you coming back when you two are going so well?"

George scratched his head. "Well, I guess it hadn't occurred to me that I should stay."

Harry and Ron gasped in disbelief, while Draco snorted into his drink. George ran a hand into his hair again, then grinned and ordered them another round of Butterbeer.

"She's not that interested in me, anyway," he said after a while.

"At least she liked your pick-up line," Draco grumbled darkly.

"Her eyes keep drifting to the door," George shrugged. "Maybe she really is waiting for somebody."

"Or maybe you just haven't tried hard enough," his twin said, attaching the overused piece of Extendable Ear onto himself.

-

Always the practical prankster, Fred figured that while he was at it, he might as well do this in the fun way. Following this train of thought, he fell promptly to the floor in a loud 'thud.' An aged wizard sitting nearby glared at him from behind his glasses, demanding an explanation for this interruption. Fred smiled apologetically and stood back up, but before he could get further than three steps, his legs gave way and he fell again.

The racket he was making was turning heads. A concerned waitress was advancing towards him. He struggled for a few more steps, praying in his heart. Finally, the girl, his ultimate target, turned her head.

He stood up wobbly and waved a dismissive hand at the waitress without glancing at her.

"Are you alright?" The girl questioned with genuine worry in her voice.

"I hope you know a really good Healing Charm, miss," he said in his most piteous voice, but the sparkle in his eyes dampened down the effect. "Cause I think I have sprained my ankle falling for you."

"I am afraid I am never too good at wand-waving," she replied regretfully, but she, too, held a twinkle in her eyes now. She pulled out her wand. "But I can try."

Fred opened his mouth to protest, but it was too late. A jet of purple light burst from the tip of the wand and hit his chest. He started to tremble dangerously on his two legs.

"Ooops," she covered her mouth in embarrassment. "What did I do?"

"A J-Jelly Legs Ji-Jinx," Fred attempted at a smile, which turned out to be more of a grimace. He felt like the bones in his legs had popped into nonexistence.

"I am_ so_ sorry," the girl said, then in a bright voice, added, "but at least you can stand now, right?"

"Barely," said Fred beneath his breath, before slithering back difficultly back to the table.

-

Fred sat down in his seat and let out a sigh of relief. His legs were still wobbling uncontrollably underneath the table, so having his bottom attached to something was unquestionably a big plus. He sighed wearily again and asked for more alcohol.

"She has to realize by now that we all come from the same table," Draco thought aloud.

"Do you think that's why she put the jinx on me?" Fred asked.

"Probably," Neville crossed his arms and leaned back. "Or maybe she was just annoyed by this endless stream of hit-ons while all she wanted was a moment of peace to ponder the mystic color of the Butterbeer."

"Or maybe she was stood up by somebody and in a bad mood," injected Ron, utilizing one of his less polished skills and observed.

"I won't say that," Remus spoke thoughtfully. "Look at her face. She's waiting for someone, but I am not sure she wants to see him very badly." As if trying to prove his point, the girl twirled in her chair at that moment so that more of her was facing their table. Unlike what you would find on a person waiting for someone, there was no anxiety or anticipation on her lovely face. There was only alertness- as if she would flee as soon as that 'someone' step into the tavern- though she was trying to conceal it with an air of serenity.

"Well?" demanded Fred after a minute of silence. "Whose turn is it?" He looked at Remus.

The older wizard just pursed his lips slightly in a 'no'. "Leave the old man be with his beer," he said, laughing a little. "I have outgrown this kind of a game."

The boys turned to Neville, who was rocking back and forth in his chair. When he saw their expectant faces, he spread his hands and shrugged.

"You want to hear my pick-up line?" He said and drank from his mug. "Here's what it would be like: 'Miss, do you like stuffed animals? 'Cause I just ate.'"

"Or it could be, 'I think I've lost my address, miss. Mind lending me yours?'"

Neville blushed a bit at this poking fun of his forgetfulness, but joined in chuckling anyway.

"Well, I see that you mere mortals have given up," Harry said finally, his face red from the alcohol and the fits of laughter. "It's time for the god of the Irresistible Charisma to demonstrate _the_ way to do it."

"The god of the Bane of Our Existence, more like," commented Draco dryly as the Weasleys feigned various forms of puking. Harry ignored them and stood up.

Ron watched as Harry made his move, and grinned wider as his best friend ran a hand and mussed his hair up further.

"It will be easy for him," said George. "'Hi, I am The-Boy-Who-Lived. Wanna kiss and make the Daily Prophet'sheadline tomorrow?'"

"'I have a fan club. Wanna join?'" This was from Fred.

"'I can promise you a lifetime membership,'" smirked Draco, finishing his third glass of drink.

"Shhh," Neville whispered, leaning closer to the table. The others followed, listening intently to the other end of the Extendable Ear. Harry seemed to have reached the girl.

"Hi," he was saying, his voice noticeably lower than usual.

Draco glanced around at their clustered heads and felt an urge to snort. They must have been quite a sight, six fully grown men- some of them prominent Aurors, no less, as their badges would give away- pulling their heads together as if they were in the middle of the most secretive meeting. But they were not. They were listening to Harry Potter flirt with a girl, who proved to have the power to capture their entire attention, something not even Snape had succeeded at...

"What in the name of Merlin are you lot up to?"

The six of them jumped in their seats. There by the doorway, in all his black-robed glamour, stood Severus Snape. Curtains of greasy hair and patent scowl in place, he was currently glowering at them suspiciously.

Remus was the first to come back to himself. Smiling welcomingly, he signaled for Severus to come over. "What a pleasant surprise, Severus."

From the look on his face, one could not say that Severus agreed with that statement. Nevertheless he strode over while his ex-students shuffled to make space, but he had not intention to sit down.

"What exactly are you doing here?" He asked again, sounding every bit suspecting that they were plotting his death behind his back.

"We, um, we are-" Fred began to explain.

"Shhh!" Ron quieted him with a hand. Voices were coming from the Extendable Ear.

-

"Hi," he smiled in what he hoped was an attractive way. However, after the initial greeting he found, in dismay, that he had nothing more to say. The girl set her sparkling orbs on him.

"I- um..." Darn, stuttering was not a good sign. Harry suddenly became very aware of the eyes behind his back. His friends (and foe, he added when he remembered Draco Malfoy) were listening to this.

The girl simply sat there and smiled in that majestic glow of hers, fluttering her curly eyelashes, looking almost eager to hear his pick-up line. He gulped.

"Wanna know a way that will make you unique and different?" He asked, casually placing an arm on the counter.

"Do you mean I am not unique and not different now?" She countered, crossing her hands on her knees.

"Certainly not, miss, you're very pretty," he complimented sincerely.

"Tell me," she breathed, pointing her small chin at him. "What can I do to be... unique?"

"Just say yes to this: let me buy you a drink," he replied in a deep voice, hiding his amazement. This girl was certainly not the shy voice he heard talking to Ron- she seemed to be as into the game as they were now.

She giggled delightedly, and licked her lips. "Very, very tempting, Harry," she replied silkily.

-

"But no, thank you."

The group broke into laughter. So the Golden Boy wasn't undefeatable, after all.

"This is what we have been doing, just a harmless little-" George stopped when he saw Severus' expression. Instead of looking amused, he looked royally pissed.

"Very enticing pastime," he remarked, and the rest cringed at his tone. The rage beneath it was hardly what one would call imperceptible. "I think I might just give it a try."

He swept across the floor briskly, not even pausing when he bumped into the returning Harry. Harry looked at his friends in confusion - what was Snape doing here? Ron motioned with his hands frantically. Being his best friends for over ten years and thus being able to communicate non-verbally, Harry threw the end of the Extendable Ear onto the fuming Potions Master. It barely hung onto his shoulder.

"What on earth is Snape doing over there?" Harry asked when he sat down, out of breath.

"He won't hurt her, will he?" Asked Neville in a worried voice.

"Don't be silly," comforted Remus, then turned his attention to the snooping device. "Listen."

"Hide and seek's over, miss," they heard Severus say.

"I don't know wha- wait. What is this on your shoulder?"

"Damnit," swore the twins. The hour was up and the Disillusionment Charm on the Extendable Ear was wearing off. They watched in disappointment as the girl pulled it off Severus' robe and threw it on the floor. The fuzzy conversation went dead.

-

"Hide and seek's over, miss," Severus glared at the black-haired girl. She looked up and tried to blink innocently.

"I don't know wha- wait. What is this on your shoulder?" She picked the flesh-colored piece of string from his shoulder. Ah, the Weasleys' infamous Extendable Ears. So this was what they were doing for the past hour. _Interesting. _She dismissed the silly piece of toy onto the floor.

"Do not try to change the subject, young lady," he narrowed his eyes dangerously. "What are you doing in a pub?"

She huffed and attempted to turn away, but Severus grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at him.

"I am asking you- what in the name of everything blasted are you doing in a pub in an indecent robe seducing every man in sight?"

Jane, or rather, Hermione, looked down at her ankle-length robe. Hardly revealing. She pouted and struggled to be free of his grasp with no success. "If that means you find me beguilingly sexy, then thank you. And I am not 'seducing every man in sight.'"

Severus groaned as she bowed to check her robe, her square neckline showing her shallow cleavage. Must she be so oblivious to her surroundings? Could she honestly not _know_ what she was doing to half the men in the room? He took off his cloak and wrapped it around her tightly.

"I would think batting eyelashes uncontrollably like your eyeballs are having a seizure at Potter counted as 'seducing,'" he replied angrily.

"Their casting me a second glance was nothing more than the shear male instinct to be attracted to a good-looking face," she retorted with matching anger. "Anyhow, I don't see how this might pique your concern."

"Look," he flexed his fingers, as was his habit when in stress. "I am truly sorry for not remembering today is Valentine's Day-" but it was only a stupid, pointless day for lovebirds to write each other mushy poems. Why the fuss?

She glared at him as if she had just read his mind.

"-and one year since we have been together," he added unwillingly. Okay, so he had forgotten their 'anniversary' too. But wasn't looking away from him during the whole meeting quite enough? Albus and Minerva had been sending him pointed glares, and he could not focus on one single word Moody reported. How could a man be expected to remember so many trivial dates when he had at least a Headmaster, a Dark Lord, and a bunch of dunderheads to attend to?

"This just happened to be the day I've been looking forward to, since, I don't know, _forever_? I have imagined flowers, a romantic dinner, a night stroll, maybe, or at least a kiss. But _no,_ I guess it's just silly of me to hope for anything," she sniffed and looked away. "And of course none of this matters to you."

He sighed wearily, wanting very much to rub his throbbing temples. "I apologize already, okay? Let's go."

"I don't think I will go," she answered stubbornly. "I think I like it here. I think the guys here care." She winked suggestively at a middle-aged man nearby, who raised his goblet to her.

Severus felt something in his head snapped. How dare she? Did she really prefer that obese, balding man to him? "That's it," he snarled in her ear icily, and with a move too swift for Hermione to see, picked her up and carried her on his shoulder like a full sack of potatoes. She was too stunned to react. Severus exited the pub without much resistance.

-

It wasn't until they were far away from the pub and Severus was walking down a quiet alley that Hermione remembered that she was being carried around on a man's shoulder in a public place, not to mention that she was supposed to be angry at said man. She began to pound hard on Severus' back.

Grabbing her kicking ankles easily, Severus slid Hermione onto the ground. She did not cease hitting his chest with her fists, though, so he stood there and waited for her to tire out. Soon enough, her fists slowed down and all that left was her raspy breathing. He sighed and started to rub softly on her reddened hands.

"It hurts," she complained. He refrained from pointing out that he was the one who had been punched, but just keep on massaging her hands.

They were in one of the darker alleys. From here they could hear the faint noises on the main street, the merry sounds of people enjoying themselves. Hermione pondered the reason why the night would end up like this for her. This was not what she had in mind when she pictured the Valentine's Day. She stifled a sob.

Her sniff did not escape Severus' sensitive ears. He sighed and rolled his eyes toward the heaven while pulling her closer.

"I didn't mean to disappoint you," he said lowly, his voice velvety in the dark, showing none of the panic that any male would feel in his position.

"I didn't want to be troublesome, either," she answered, and to Severus' great relief, she did not made any further attempt to cry than that sob. "It's just - I had been so excited about today, and to find that you didn't feel the same-"

"There's just too much on my mind these days," he said, closing his eyes briefly. "I am sorry."

"It's been a year already," she said into his shirt in awe, her voice slightly muffled. "It's just like a dream. Can you believe it?"

"I can't imagine," he said, lifting her face to him and traced a finger down her cheek. "This feels too real to be a dream."

She circled her arms around his nape and pulled him into a searing kiss. His lips were gentle but persistent, and they urged her to open up. As her lips parted, he slipped in and tasted her. She tasted as wonderful as ever, and as the kiss deepened, he ran a hand down her side and tangled the other into her hair-

And stopped. Hermione pulled back, her face pink from the passion, and looked at him quizzically.

He pecked her on her lips, before stepping back and said, "lift the charm, Hermione."

"Why?" An impish grin appeared on her face. "Don't you like me better this way? Apparently a lot of people do."

He stiffened, then replied as if it pained him to do so, "I like you the way you were. Now lift the charm."

She obliged without another word, and as the blue mist dissipated, Severus was thankful to find his familiar Hermione, completed with frizzy hair and a thinner figure, in front of him.

"How did you find out anyway?" She questioned, reminding him of the student she was a few years ago. "I thought the charm was pretty clever."

"The way you pronounce 'Harry', and the way you lick your bottom lip, and the way you sit cross-legged..." he regarded her with a raised brow. "Are you kidding me, Miss Granger? What charm can hide you from me?"

She giggled, not realizing that she had giggled in the exact same way to Harry a few moments ago, and slipped an arm into Severus'.

"Come now, the night isn't over yet."

-

Meanwhile, back in the Enchanted Spirits, Harry and co. were in shock.

"My dignity refuses to register the fact that the greasy old bat just landed the prettiest girl in this room right under my nose," Harry was saying, his mouth still agape.

"After all that we did, we are still dateless," Neville sighed heavily.

"You know what's worse, Longbottom?" Draco sneered and picked up his jug. "Without a date, I am stuck spending the night with you guys."

The boys clinked the glasses and drank in solemn agreement to that.

"Hide and seek's over, miss?" Ron said, smacking his lips as he finished yet another goblet of Butterbeer. "What kind of a pick-up line is _that?_"

"The kind that works, obviously," Fred replied gloomily.

"Severus sure knows how to pick up a girl," Remus chuckled as he recalled the stunt the Potions Master just pulled. "The only way to do it, really."

The rest of the group did not share his amusement. Moodily Harry ordered another rounds of drinks, asking for Firewhiskey this time.

The night could not be any longer.

-

A/N: Review and Happy Valentine's Day! And a special thanks to Alisa who beta-ed this fic.


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